Wow. Long time, no blog. I must say I'm surprised at myself. The past couple nights I attempted to blog, but I'd end up falling asleep holding my laptop. Thursday night, I had my laptop sitting on my lap..fell asleep..and then rolled over which resulted in throwing my computer off my bed. I can't afford a new laptop so I'm not going to try to blog when I'm tired anymore.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I have no idea what to do for my mom and I'm totally stressing about it. I know you're probably thinking, "Andrea, don't worry about it. It's the thought that counts." No, not true. You don't know Jackie Thomas.
Don't get me wrong. My mom is a FANTASTIC person. I can count on her for anything. She has always been there for me. At the same time, though, my mom isn't afraid to say what she is thinking, expects a lot, and if you (or any one) screws up..she won't let you forget about it. In fact, my mom holds the worst grudges of any one I've ever met.
I'm not exaggerating. For example, in second grade my mom bought me brand new white tennis shoes that had Barbie's name written in pink all over the laces and the soles lit up pink when I walked(they were pretty sweet). My mom lectured me about taking care of them and the proper way to keep them clean. She stressed that I wouldn't get a new pair until next year.
Well, the first day of school came, and the debut of my brand new white shoes was quickly interrupted by a fellow classmate who wanted to see if she could make them light up MORE by stomping on my feet. I still remember the horrified look on my mom's face when she saw the scuff marks all over my shoes when I got home from school. She asked me what happened. I told her.
SIXTEEN YEARS since the shoe incident, I run into the girl in the mall while I'm shopping with my mom. I smiled and embraced the girl. We were genuinely glad to see each other. We hadn't seen each other since graduating from high school. Meanwhile, my mom is just standing there. Doesn't even say hi. When she walks off, my mom says to me, "Ugh, that brat. Remember what she did to your shoes? She has always been jealous of you." Really mom...it is time to let go.
That is just one example. I could write these all day. My mom and dad have been married for 30 years. She still brings back things he did wrong from when they were dating (God bless that man. He puts up with a lot).
I'm particularly on edge about this mother's day because of a incident we had the other day (I think it was Wednesday?). It was a gorgeous day and I was in a great mood so obviously I was dancing around the kitchen singing Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas while my mom was cooking dinner (If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.)
I was wearing flip flops..spinning and jumping around..and then BAM I stubbed my toe. The pain was so intense I yelled...without even thinking...the worse thing you could possibly say in front of the woman who gave you life, "MOTHER F%$KER!!!!!!!!!!!"
I honestly don't even know where that came from. I drop the F-bomb from time to time, but really? Mother Fu#$er? In front of my mother? Close to Mother's Day?? What is wrong with me???
I had my back to my mom and heard her drop everything she was holding. Then, she says, "I CAN NOT believe those words just came out of my baby girl's mouth" (Baby girl? I'm 23 and this is happening to me? Time. To. Move. Out.....still, I felt bad.) She then proceeds on this long tirade, "blah blah blah no one will want to marry a girl that uses that word." Well fine then, fu*kity, *uck, *uck, *uck.
Juuuust kidding, but seriously, she is still mad. So I have to do it BIG this mother's day or forty years from now I'll be hearing about the time I shattered my mom's world by dropping the f-bomb in front of her.
I was going to buy her a huge bouquet of flowers. Every woman loves flowers. Then, I got home from Eastern Michigan last night..walk in our house..and see the most impressive display of flowers sitting on our kitchen table. *uck. My brother beat me to it.
Then, I decided to make dinner reservations at Francesco's, my mom's favorite restaurant. *uck. They are closed on Sundays.
THEN, I thought I'd take her to get a manicure and pedicure. I was secretly going through her purse trying to remember the name of the place she likes to go to. She has a manicurist's card in her wallet. Then, I see it. *UCK. A giftcard from ME she still hasn't used from her birthday.
So basically I'm screwed. It's Saturday..and I have no ideas left. The future is looking bleak..nice knowing you all.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
1000+ Hits!!!
I wasn't going to blog today because I really have nothing to blog about (when do I ever?)..but then..I saw... the most amazing thing ever.....My blog has been viewed over ONE THOUSAND TIMES!!!!! How freaking cool is that?!?!Next thing I know, Ellen Degeneris is going to be posting comments and inviting me onto her show!
This calls for a celebration! So if you have nothing to do Friday night (and if you do, bail.)...hit. me. up. I will be drinking to my blog.
Anyways bloggity blog time!
Work was glorious and horrifying at the same time today which is a really awkward situation to be in. The kids were taking ISTEP so I wasn't allowed to see any of them. On the one hand it was glorious because I didn't have to do anything. No lesson planning. No slapping children, nothing. On the other hand, it was horrifying. At one point, after feeling like I'd been sitting there for about 2 hours, I looked at my watch and literally said out loud, "Oh. My. God" I had already felt like I had been there an eternity and I had 7 more hours to go.
I decided I needed to find constructive things to do if I were to make time go any faster. So I took my multicolored box of paperclips and separated all the colors (red, blue, yellow, white, pink) into separate compartments. Then, I tried to figure out how to print double sided with our copy machine..I eventually got banned from using it for "wasting paper".
Then I called my boss and asked her if I could go home, she said no.
While I had my phone out, I decided to clean out my Contacts list because..well..because I had nothing else to do.
I was very confused at what I found...pretty much tons and tons of people from my nights of debauchery that I dont remember..and apparently when i'm party I'm bad with names.
Here is a list of the weird ones I found:
Abercrombie Boy
Bashid ????
Steves Friend
Bradnm
Dat
Jeremy 490 West 3rd Street (Apparently I'm a stalker)
John Cute
John From Vela
Kelly Lils Cuzo
Kyle From Jungle
Lead
Mandolin
Mike Dont Answer
Mike From Backer
NTojh (Not even close)
Passion
Pat the Bird
Ryan Frod GATeRs (hmm?)
sarah from ireland
Shanna Bell?
Tits
If any one knows any one who meets these descriptions, let me know :)
This calls for a celebration! So if you have nothing to do Friday night (and if you do, bail.)...hit. me. up. I will be drinking to my blog.
Anyways bloggity blog time!
Work was glorious and horrifying at the same time today which is a really awkward situation to be in. The kids were taking ISTEP so I wasn't allowed to see any of them. On the one hand it was glorious because I didn't have to do anything. No lesson planning. No slapping children, nothing. On the other hand, it was horrifying. At one point, after feeling like I'd been sitting there for about 2 hours, I looked at my watch and literally said out loud, "Oh. My. God" I had already felt like I had been there an eternity and I had 7 more hours to go.
I decided I needed to find constructive things to do if I were to make time go any faster. So I took my multicolored box of paperclips and separated all the colors (red, blue, yellow, white, pink) into separate compartments. Then, I tried to figure out how to print double sided with our copy machine..I eventually got banned from using it for "wasting paper".
Then I called my boss and asked her if I could go home, she said no.
While I had my phone out, I decided to clean out my Contacts list because..well..because I had nothing else to do.
I was very confused at what I found...pretty much tons and tons of people from my nights of debauchery that I dont remember..and apparently when i'm party I'm bad with names.
Here is a list of the weird ones I found:
Abercrombie Boy
Bashid ????
Steves Friend
Bradnm
Dat
Jeremy 490 West 3rd Street (Apparently I'm a stalker)
John Cute
John From Vela
Kelly Lils Cuzo
Kyle From Jungle
Lead
Mandolin
Mike Dont Answer
Mike From Backer
NTojh (Not even close)
Passion
Pat the Bird
Ryan Frod GATeRs (hmm?)
sarah from ireland
Shanna Bell?
Tits
If any one knows any one who meets these descriptions, let me know :)
Monday, April 26, 2010
Case of the Mondays
I had the worst case of the Mondays I think I ever had today. It was one of those days that was just weird...nothing really goes wrong, but at the same time nothing goes right either.
It, obviously, started with my alarm going off this morning. Even though I was in the same place I am every morning..I woke up having no idea where I was.
Once I figured out that I was in my bedroom..I crawled slowly out of bed. I was definitely still feeling pain from my Friday and Saturday nights of debauchery (I'm getting old).
I shower,dress, eat, get all of my work stuff together..go outside..start the car.
I kept thinking, "Damn..it's dark out."
I look at the clock on the dash of my car..I have to add an hour and subtract 5 minutes because I don't know how to set it right. According to my calculations..it is only 4:30am. I check my math again. Yep, definitely only 4:30. I meant to wake up at 5:30.....
I sit in the car for a few minutes..contemplating how I'm going to bounce back and have a normal day after doing something like this. I decided to go back to sleep for an hour..start my day over right. So I did.
When I woke up again I realized I overslept. It was 8:05 and I see my first kids at 8:00. Luckily I was already showered, dressed, and ready to go. In a hurry, I hop in my car and back up without looking..well it turns out my mom was confused and put the recyclables out a day early. I knock them over and drag them all the way down the street. I thought about just leaving them, but my neighbor (who was laughing hysterically by the way) saw me so I had to pick them up.
When I finally arrived at the school, I walk into my office only to find four pissed off third graders staring at me.
"You're late," one of them says.
I immediately feel like I betrayed them. Luckily and quick thinking on my part, I brought M&Ms to share and all was forgotten.
The day didn't get much better. I've been too efficient lately..and had nothing to do. The computer I normally use at work has a virus so I couldn't even stalk people on facebook. It was torture.
At one point, I was working with a kid on following directions....giving her 1 step directions she had to do her best to follow. She had a worksheet and a collection of crayons in front of her. I told her to color something blue and she just stared at me like I'm crazy.
I thought maybe she didn't hear me so I said it again, "Color the TRIANGLE, blue."
She replies, "To do that..I would need a blue crayon."
Now I'm looking at her like SHE'S crazy, "You do have a blue crayon. It's right in front of you."
"That isn't blue..read it..it's denim."
Cheese and Rice..are you serious???
I say, "Honey..it's the same thing."
"How is it the same thing? You said color the SQUARE blue..this is denim."
"Color the TRIANGLE blue" (Square..This is why we're doing this activity!!)
"Still, it's denim."
At this point my mind wanders..I think about all the people assisting in disaster relief, researching cures for cancer, doctors performing life saving procedures...
and then there's me..arguing with an 8 year old about the difference between blue and denim.
"Just color it red." I gave up.
She colored THE SQUARE red.
On the bright side, today was so lame it's going to make Terrible Tuesday (what I always call Tuesdays) Terrific. :)
It, obviously, started with my alarm going off this morning. Even though I was in the same place I am every morning..I woke up having no idea where I was.
Once I figured out that I was in my bedroom..I crawled slowly out of bed. I was definitely still feeling pain from my Friday and Saturday nights of debauchery (I'm getting old).
I shower,dress, eat, get all of my work stuff together..go outside..start the car.
I kept thinking, "Damn..it's dark out."
I look at the clock on the dash of my car..I have to add an hour and subtract 5 minutes because I don't know how to set it right. According to my calculations..it is only 4:30am. I check my math again. Yep, definitely only 4:30. I meant to wake up at 5:30.....
I sit in the car for a few minutes..contemplating how I'm going to bounce back and have a normal day after doing something like this. I decided to go back to sleep for an hour..start my day over right. So I did.
When I woke up again I realized I overslept. It was 8:05 and I see my first kids at 8:00. Luckily I was already showered, dressed, and ready to go. In a hurry, I hop in my car and back up without looking..well it turns out my mom was confused and put the recyclables out a day early. I knock them over and drag them all the way down the street. I thought about just leaving them, but my neighbor (who was laughing hysterically by the way) saw me so I had to pick them up.
When I finally arrived at the school, I walk into my office only to find four pissed off third graders staring at me.
"You're late," one of them says.
I immediately feel like I betrayed them. Luckily and quick thinking on my part, I brought M&Ms to share and all was forgotten.
The day didn't get much better. I've been too efficient lately..and had nothing to do. The computer I normally use at work has a virus so I couldn't even stalk people on facebook. It was torture.
At one point, I was working with a kid on following directions....giving her 1 step directions she had to do her best to follow. She had a worksheet and a collection of crayons in front of her. I told her to color something blue and she just stared at me like I'm crazy.
I thought maybe she didn't hear me so I said it again, "Color the TRIANGLE, blue."
She replies, "To do that..I would need a blue crayon."
Now I'm looking at her like SHE'S crazy, "You do have a blue crayon. It's right in front of you."
"That isn't blue..read it..it's denim."
Cheese and Rice..are you serious???
I say, "Honey..it's the same thing."
"How is it the same thing? You said color the SQUARE blue..this is denim."
"Color the TRIANGLE blue" (Square..This is why we're doing this activity!!)
"Still, it's denim."
At this point my mind wanders..I think about all the people assisting in disaster relief, researching cures for cancer, doctors performing life saving procedures...
and then there's me..arguing with an 8 year old about the difference between blue and denim.
"Just color it red." I gave up.
She colored THE SQUARE red.
On the bright side, today was so lame it's going to make Terrible Tuesday (what I always call Tuesdays) Terrific. :)
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Not a happy blog.
This is not a happy blog.
I never thought this would happen to me...but it has. I am THAT girl. If you don't know what that means you're a guy,in a relationship, or extremely lucky. You never ever want to be THAT girl.
As THAT girl I am the "Go To" person for all the matchmakers who have nice awkward guy friends who haven't found, but are looking for, THE ONE.
The descriptions the matchmakers give of these "irresistible bachelors" are always the same..
"You should meet my..(fill in blank with relation--son, friend, cousin, nephew, etc.)..He is so nice/sweet/(fill in with some BS adjective). I think you would get along; you two have a lot in common."
I'm learning that as soon as a guy is described as NICE I should abort mission.
Some fellow co-workers claimed their friend and I have TONS in common..and he's so NICE.
Next thing I know, I'm on a date with a man who keeps a Chewbacca costume in his trunk (just in case) and a Big Foot fetish. (I hope he isn't reading this..it'd be hard to play like I'm talking about some one else.) ..I still to this day haven't found out what we have in common.
Ran into a friend I hadn't seen in awhile at a wedding, "Oh My God..Andrea. I have the perfect guy for you. He is so nice. You two would definitely hit it off."
Next thing I know I'm on a date with Eharmony..What's Eharmony like? Take the guy that IS my type and pretend it's opposite day. He updates his Eharmony account more than I do my Facebook. He is short. Doesn't work out. Doesn't enjoy going out. He is looking for a stay at home wife who is willing to pop out 9 kids.
So I'm a smart girl (..well it's debatable), but I will not make the same mistake twice. I learned that, "You have a lot in common with my (fill in relation..friend, son, etc)," is code for, "You and my (fill in relation) are both single." (P.S. I don't even know how people just KNOW I'm single..I think if people JUST KNOW..it's a bad thing, right?) AND "He is so nice." is code for,"he's weird, but has a good heart please love him."
I haven't been on any more of these dates, but the attacks keep coming and it's driving me LOCO.
A coworker of mine says, "You know, you and my son are about the same age. He's a roadie for a band. I bet you two would really hit it off."
Abort.
After a conference a mother says to me, "My son is your age. You would think he's so sweet. Why don't you give me your number? When he is out of jail I'll have him call you."
Abort.
At Grandma's..It's gotta be safe at Grandma's, right?..NOPE
"Andrea, we have a new neighbor who looks to be around your age. I hear he's very nice." GRANDMA NOT YOU TOO!
Abort.
My supervisor says, "My friend Rachel's boyfriend's brother has a friend that you would have a ton in common with."
Abort.
(This could go on forever.)
Finally, today, a teacher that provides private instruction to one of my speech kids says, "I have a nephew for you." I'm thinking 'Oh, she has a young nephew who needs speech therapy." I say to her, "Really? How old is he?" She replies, "23."
Here we go.
She continues, "He is such a nice boy. I think you would like him a lot. Of course..his hair is longer than yours right now. I think he plans on donating it to Locks of Love. Hm..I'm not really sure about his beard though. His beard is longer than his hair. HAHA! He looks like Jesus."
I lost it.
I replied, "I can't see myself doing anything other than praying with Jesus. Thanks though."
This is why I love blogging. I feel so much better now.
I never thought this would happen to me...but it has. I am THAT girl. If you don't know what that means you're a guy,in a relationship, or extremely lucky. You never ever want to be THAT girl.
As THAT girl I am the "Go To" person for all the matchmakers who have nice awkward guy friends who haven't found, but are looking for, THE ONE.
The descriptions the matchmakers give of these "irresistible bachelors" are always the same..
"You should meet my..(fill in blank with relation--son, friend, cousin, nephew, etc.)..He is so nice/sweet/(fill in with some BS adjective). I think you would get along; you two have a lot in common."
I'm learning that as soon as a guy is described as NICE I should abort mission.
Some fellow co-workers claimed their friend and I have TONS in common..and he's so NICE.
Next thing I know, I'm on a date with a man who keeps a Chewbacca costume in his trunk (just in case) and a Big Foot fetish. (I hope he isn't reading this..it'd be hard to play like I'm talking about some one else.) ..I still to this day haven't found out what we have in common.
Ran into a friend I hadn't seen in awhile at a wedding, "Oh My God..Andrea. I have the perfect guy for you. He is so nice. You two would definitely hit it off."
Next thing I know I'm on a date with Eharmony..What's Eharmony like? Take the guy that IS my type and pretend it's opposite day. He updates his Eharmony account more than I do my Facebook. He is short. Doesn't work out. Doesn't enjoy going out. He is looking for a stay at home wife who is willing to pop out 9 kids.
So I'm a smart girl (..well it's debatable), but I will not make the same mistake twice. I learned that, "You have a lot in common with my (fill in relation..friend, son, etc)," is code for, "You and my (fill in relation) are both single." (P.S. I don't even know how people just KNOW I'm single..I think if people JUST KNOW..it's a bad thing, right?) AND "He is so nice." is code for,"he's weird, but has a good heart please love him."
I haven't been on any more of these dates, but the attacks keep coming and it's driving me LOCO.
A coworker of mine says, "You know, you and my son are about the same age. He's a roadie for a band. I bet you two would really hit it off."
Abort.
After a conference a mother says to me, "My son is your age. You would think he's so sweet. Why don't you give me your number? When he is out of jail I'll have him call you."
Abort.
At Grandma's..It's gotta be safe at Grandma's, right?..NOPE
"Andrea, we have a new neighbor who looks to be around your age. I hear he's very nice." GRANDMA NOT YOU TOO!
Abort.
My supervisor says, "My friend Rachel's boyfriend's brother has a friend that you would have a ton in common with."
Abort.
(This could go on forever.)
Finally, today, a teacher that provides private instruction to one of my speech kids says, "I have a nephew for you." I'm thinking 'Oh, she has a young nephew who needs speech therapy." I say to her, "Really? How old is he?" She replies, "23."
Here we go.
She continues, "He is such a nice boy. I think you would like him a lot. Of course..his hair is longer than yours right now. I think he plans on donating it to Locks of Love. Hm..I'm not really sure about his beard though. His beard is longer than his hair. HAHA! He looks like Jesus."
I lost it.
I replied, "I can't see myself doing anything other than praying with Jesus. Thanks though."
This is why I love blogging. I feel so much better now.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Does this make me crazy?
Man..no one told me the amount of pressure blogging brings. I keep getting called out. I walked in the gym today and someone said, "You haven't blogged in two days,"..I've received text messages..facebook messages..any kind of message you can imagine asking me to blog.
I meant to blog yesterday.. but during the day I had to saves lives and at night I had to watch the CMAs, ya feel me?..if you don't get that then you should just go read someone elses blog (but this is The Best Blog In The Whole Entire World..so I'd understand if you want to stay.)
In all seriousness though, I added a counter and my blog has been viewed over 500 times!! Are you all messing with me??...Telling me you like reading it, but then are secretly calling me a tard behind my back??? If you are, don't tell me. I'm a firm believer in ignorance is bliss. I like how things are going and don't want it ruined. Anyways, I decided that once my blog reaches 1000 views I'm going to force people to go out and drink with me in celebration :D
But blogging is not what I wanted to blog about..
Every morning on my way to work (Mondays/Wednesdays I have a 30 minute drive..Tues/Thurs more like 45 minutes) I listen to Rob and AJ on U93. Freaking love them..they always have me cracking up. They do this segment called "Does This Make Me Crazy?" where people will call in and share things they do that may be out of the ordinary..Rob and AJ will then vote whether they think that the caller is crazy or not.
I never call in because I have to focus on driving.Talking on a cell phone and driving at the same time is just something I should avoid. One time..I was having myself a good time dancing to Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus when I hit a deer..needless to say I don't F around anymore. Nor can I listen to that song without feeling terrified. (Does that make me crazy?)
Anyways, I digress.
So I never call in, but I was thinking about things that I do that other people might consider crazy. Surprisingly, I do a lot of unusual things and it was really easy for me to come up with this list..Here it goes:
If I am sitting in a car..doesn't matter if I'm driving or a passenger..I HAVE to have my seat belt on. Car off..sitting in a driveway..I will have my seat belt on. Car parked in a parking lot..waiting on a friend to get something in Meijers..seat belt will be on. Just feels weird without it. Click it or Ticket? Not a problem for me. Does that make me crazy??
While on the subject of cars...if my gas tank gets down to a quarter tank..I automatically start to feel nervous. I never let it go below a quarter tank. If it does, I freak. Does that make me crazy???
I can drive long distances at night with my headlights off and never notice. Does that make me crazy??
A silent room with other people present totally creeps me out. I start laughing, humming, singing, clearing my throat ANYTHING to make some kind of noise. Does that make me crazy??
I feel inadequate if I don't change my facebook picture at least once a month. Sometimes I even get jealous of people with really cool facebook pictures. Does that make me crazy???
During the summer, I'm obsessed with country music and can't stand rap. During the winter, I can't stand country and I love rap. (Does that mean I'm a hillbilly in the summer and a gangster in the winter??) Does this make me crazy??
I'm terrified of lighting matches. I refuse to do it. Does this make me crazy??
At the gym, I give myself pep talks while I'm changing in the locker room. Sometimes I avoid doing it because I know it's weird..but then I always have crappy work outs. Does this make me crazy?
If I taste cottage cheese..it takes me a full 24 hours to recover..I hate it THAT much. Whoever invented it is an idiot. Does this make me crazy??
I always think about sex while I'm in church. Does this make me crazy??? (Is that a sin??)
If it's raining.. that stupid song, "Singing In The Rain," is guaranteed to pop in my head at least once. Does this make me crazy??
Sometimes when I'm really nervous about something..The Babysitters Club theme song gets stuck in my head. I don't know why. This has been happening to me since I was little. Does this make me crazy??
When I get pedicures..if I put my feet in the water and it's too hot..I'll pass out. Does that make me crazy?
Alright..that's enough to humiliation to last until the next blog.
So..if by chance you guys are actually reading this..and not just humoring me by visiting the page real quick to bump up my blog hits...leave your comments about the stuff YOU do that might be crazy. Then, hopefully I can use you to feel better about myself. ;)
I meant to blog yesterday.. but during the day I had to saves lives and at night I had to watch the CMAs, ya feel me?..if you don't get that then you should just go read someone elses blog (but this is The Best Blog In The Whole Entire World..so I'd understand if you want to stay.)
In all seriousness though, I added a counter and my blog has been viewed over 500 times!! Are you all messing with me??...Telling me you like reading it, but then are secretly calling me a tard behind my back??? If you are, don't tell me. I'm a firm believer in ignorance is bliss. I like how things are going and don't want it ruined. Anyways, I decided that once my blog reaches 1000 views I'm going to force people to go out and drink with me in celebration :D
But blogging is not what I wanted to blog about..
Every morning on my way to work (Mondays/Wednesdays I have a 30 minute drive..Tues/Thurs more like 45 minutes) I listen to Rob and AJ on U93. Freaking love them..they always have me cracking up. They do this segment called "Does This Make Me Crazy?" where people will call in and share things they do that may be out of the ordinary..Rob and AJ will then vote whether they think that the caller is crazy or not.
I never call in because I have to focus on driving.Talking on a cell phone and driving at the same time is just something I should avoid. One time..I was having myself a good time dancing to Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus when I hit a deer..needless to say I don't F around anymore. Nor can I listen to that song without feeling terrified. (Does that make me crazy?)
Anyways, I digress.
So I never call in, but I was thinking about things that I do that other people might consider crazy. Surprisingly, I do a lot of unusual things and it was really easy for me to come up with this list..Here it goes:
If I am sitting in a car..doesn't matter if I'm driving or a passenger..I HAVE to have my seat belt on. Car off..sitting in a driveway..I will have my seat belt on. Car parked in a parking lot..waiting on a friend to get something in Meijers..seat belt will be on. Just feels weird without it. Click it or Ticket? Not a problem for me. Does that make me crazy??
While on the subject of cars...if my gas tank gets down to a quarter tank..I automatically start to feel nervous. I never let it go below a quarter tank. If it does, I freak. Does that make me crazy???
I can drive long distances at night with my headlights off and never notice. Does that make me crazy??
A silent room with other people present totally creeps me out. I start laughing, humming, singing, clearing my throat ANYTHING to make some kind of noise. Does that make me crazy??
I feel inadequate if I don't change my facebook picture at least once a month. Sometimes I even get jealous of people with really cool facebook pictures. Does that make me crazy???
During the summer, I'm obsessed with country music and can't stand rap. During the winter, I can't stand country and I love rap. (Does that mean I'm a hillbilly in the summer and a gangster in the winter??) Does this make me crazy??
I'm terrified of lighting matches. I refuse to do it. Does this make me crazy??
At the gym, I give myself pep talks while I'm changing in the locker room. Sometimes I avoid doing it because I know it's weird..but then I always have crappy work outs. Does this make me crazy?
If I taste cottage cheese..it takes me a full 24 hours to recover..I hate it THAT much. Whoever invented it is an idiot. Does this make me crazy??
I always think about sex while I'm in church. Does this make me crazy??? (Is that a sin??)
If it's raining.. that stupid song, "Singing In The Rain," is guaranteed to pop in my head at least once. Does this make me crazy??
Sometimes when I'm really nervous about something..The Babysitters Club theme song gets stuck in my head. I don't know why. This has been happening to me since I was little. Does this make me crazy??
When I get pedicures..if I put my feet in the water and it's too hot..I'll pass out. Does that make me crazy?
Alright..that's enough to humiliation to last until the next blog.
So..if by chance you guys are actually reading this..and not just humoring me by visiting the page real quick to bump up my blog hits...leave your comments about the stuff YOU do that might be crazy. Then, hopefully I can use you to feel better about myself. ;)
Friday, April 16, 2010
For the fellas
I had a conversation with a friend today about a date she went on last weekend. The guy she went out with is a mutual friend of mine. They are both incredibly cool people and actually have a lot in common. However, after the first date, she can't stand him. She thinks he's an arrogant asshole. (Sorry if you're both reading this and know who I'm talking about....don't hate the blogger hate the blog). The two went out to a restaurant of her choice. He wanted her to pick out the restaurant, but then made fun of the service and quality of food the whole night..he was taking phone calls and texting on his phone instead of talking to her..and he was getting obviously tipsy (I see nothing wrong with that one..haha juuuust kidding..but seriously, I dont.).
I have to admit..she has a point..and he does sound like an ass BUT, I know this guy..he's legit..and this does not sound like him at all. I DO know that he doesn't go on dates very often and he was probably nervous. Guys do stupid things when they are nervous. This made me think that there are probably a lot of good guys out there who just get nervous..don't know what to say or do..so they react stupidly.
The chit chat with my friend inspired a blog (Yaaay!) This is pretty much a DONTS list..things guys should avoid doing or saying on first dates if they ever want to see the chick again. Most..probably all..of what I say is coming from personal experience (I've had my fair share of bad first dates).
Okay..here it goes..
Okay..that's all I can think of for now. Again, this is just my opinion. Ladies..you may not agree with me and that's okay. Guys..don't listen to the ladies who don't agree..TRUST ME..don't do any of these things.
Hope this helps someone (If any one actually reads this!)
I have to admit..she has a point..and he does sound like an ass BUT, I know this guy..he's legit..and this does not sound like him at all. I DO know that he doesn't go on dates very often and he was probably nervous. Guys do stupid things when they are nervous. This made me think that there are probably a lot of good guys out there who just get nervous..don't know what to say or do..so they react stupidly.
The chit chat with my friend inspired a blog (Yaaay!) This is pretty much a DONTS list..things guys should avoid doing or saying on first dates if they ever want to see the chick again. Most..probably all..of what I say is coming from personal experience (I've had my fair share of bad first dates).
Okay..here it goes..
- Don't talk about your ex on the first date (unless asked). If you feel her name coming up in conversation..call it a night..you're not ready to date.
- Do not ask the following questions: How old do you want to be when you get married? How many kids do you want to have? Do you think you could be a stay at home mom? Can you cook?..It's a first date...take it easy.
- Don't come on TOO STRONG. One time..I was playing pool on a first date and while setting up the game.. the guy grabbed my butt and simultaneously whispered in my ear, "Can you grab my balls?" JJJJJJeeerkk. I didn't slap him..or even act like I didn't like it..I just never returned his phone calls and he hasn't heard from me since.
- If you have E-harmony or any other online dating profile..and you're not on a date with a girl you met online..don't tell her you have a profile. There is nothing wrong with having one..but to someone who doesn't know you it's going to scream desperate.
- Don't tell a girl too many times that she looks pretty. I went on a date with a guy who I swear said, "You are so beautiful," every half hour...don't do that. Chances are if the girl really is beautiful..she knows it. You telling her over and over is going to make her think something is wrong with you AND you're setting yourself up to be "that guy" she calls when she feels bloated and needs a compliment. One.."You look beautiful,"..at the beginning of the date is enough.
- Don't admit to having any dorky obsessions on the first date (Big foot..chewbacca costumes in your trunk..star trek)..wait until she loves you.
- Do not discuss politics. Plain and simple.
- Don't try so hard..flowers and chocolates on a first date?..really not necessary.
- Don't talk about yourself too much. You're a hot shot lawyer and make tons of money? Sweet. Get over it.
- Don't call mom, dad, brothers, or sisters and make your first date talk to them.
- Don't cheers the wine to this, "The first of many dates."
- Don't fart at the dinner table..unless she does it first.
- If out to dinner, do not order for your date unless she asks you to.
- Do not go in for a kiss if you're not sure how the date is going. If you don't know, it's not going well.
- Don't ask to plan the second date when the first date isn't over.
- If the first date went well, don't screw it up by smothering the chick with phone calls. Trust me, if it went well, she will call you. It drives us nuts when we don't hear from you.
Okay..that's all I can think of for now. Again, this is just my opinion. Ladies..you may not agree with me and that's okay. Guys..don't listen to the ladies who don't agree..TRUST ME..don't do any of these things.
Hope this helps someone (If any one actually reads this!)
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Broken Silence
BLOG TIME!!!
The most amazing thing happened at work yesterday! One of my speech kids, we will call him Bill, has severe autism and does not speak. Not because he can't, but because he doesn't want to. Bill never says ANYTHING. Nothing. His mom says he never speaks to her at home or any other members of the family at home either.
Therapy pretty much consists of the two of us sitting in a small room together--just staring at each other. He never shows emotion. Not a smile..frown..nothing. Just a neutral stare. Sometimes I try to annoy emotion out of him (singing, telling jokes that aren't funny, being overly enthusiastic, talking constantly). It kind of works. Instead of staring blankly at me, he'll put his face in his hands...
So as you can imagine..after 8 months of working with Bill..never hearing him speak is pretty frustrating.
However, yesterday, I went to go get Bill and walk with him to my office for speech therapy. We have to walk down two flights of stairs. I noticed Bill was wearing over-sized tan Fubu boots that he refused to tie.
"Bill," I said, "You need to tie your boots or you're going to fall down those stairs."
Bill replied, " "...and continued down the stairs.
Not even seconds later..Bill trips down a few steps..twisting his ankle and jamming his finger from trying to catch himself. Then...wait for it..wait for it..I hear the most amazing sound I've ever heard:
Bill: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! My finger!!! OWWWWWWW THAT HURT! THAT HURT!! OWWWW"
That was all. Then it was silent. Bill looked at the ground, shocked. I looked at him, shocked. We walked the rest of the way to my office together in silence. We both take our seats.
Me: Bill, I couldn't help noticing your screaming in the hallway...
Bill: " "
Me: I told you to tie your boots or you'd get hurt.
Bill tied his shoes.
That was all, but it was great stuff. His teacher doesn't even believe me.
Second great thing to happen! (Off subject, but I'll do what I want)
I cooked real food and it tasted like real foood. Check it out!!
Its okay to admit you're impressed.
The most amazing thing happened at work yesterday! One of my speech kids, we will call him Bill, has severe autism and does not speak. Not because he can't, but because he doesn't want to. Bill never says ANYTHING. Nothing. His mom says he never speaks to her at home or any other members of the family at home either.
Therapy pretty much consists of the two of us sitting in a small room together--just staring at each other. He never shows emotion. Not a smile..frown..nothing. Just a neutral stare. Sometimes I try to annoy emotion out of him (singing, telling jokes that aren't funny, being overly enthusiastic, talking constantly). It kind of works. Instead of staring blankly at me, he'll put his face in his hands...
So as you can imagine..after 8 months of working with Bill..never hearing him speak is pretty frustrating.
However, yesterday, I went to go get Bill and walk with him to my office for speech therapy. We have to walk down two flights of stairs. I noticed Bill was wearing over-sized tan Fubu boots that he refused to tie.
"Bill," I said, "You need to tie your boots or you're going to fall down those stairs."
Bill replied, " "...and continued down the stairs.
Not even seconds later..Bill trips down a few steps..twisting his ankle and jamming his finger from trying to catch himself. Then...wait for it..wait for it..I hear the most amazing sound I've ever heard:
Bill: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! My finger!!! OWWWWWWW THAT HURT! THAT HURT!! OWWWW"
That was all. Then it was silent. Bill looked at the ground, shocked. I looked at him, shocked. We walked the rest of the way to my office together in silence. We both take our seats.
Me: Bill, I couldn't help noticing your screaming in the hallway...
Bill: " "
Me: I told you to tie your boots or you'd get hurt.
Bill tied his shoes.
That was all, but it was great stuff. His teacher doesn't even believe me.
Second great thing to happen! (Off subject, but I'll do what I want)
I cooked real food and it tasted like real foood. Check it out!!
Its okay to admit you're impressed.
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