So...I have to thank all of you who I forced into reading The Best Blog In The Whole Entire World. You all have given me some great tips on the proper way to blog. I've heard that my blog looks cute (F- yeah it looks cute!), but I really need to have a focus..a theme..and I shouldn't switch topics so much. Someone told me my first post is overwhelming and that I'm going to scare away my readers. I'm all over the place and I'm going to lose people.
Great advice, great advice.
Unfortunately..like most great advice I'm given (don't take 151 shots, don't text and drive, don't pick up homeless people)..I'm probably not going to listen. But thank you for the advice any ways!
I promised myself I wouldn't blog about my pets. No offense to people who do, but it just seems kind of lame to me. I was browsing different blogs and found tons of people who treat their animals better than they treat their children: A crazy cat lady who grills her cats fresh chicken breast for dinner every night..a guy who has like 50 iguanas who just run around the house freely..and then they write crazy detail about every single move they make. I don't want to be like that...
BUT!
I have to talk about Max because I'm really worried about him! I think he needs a puppy psychologist (do those exist?). He is a huge dog. Absolutely huge. Yet, he is scared of EVERYTHING. Literally everything. This is kind of gross. But this is my blog and I'll do what I want. This one time, Max farted really really loud. And as soon as he did it, he looked at his butt and started running. The dog was terrified of his butt. He didn't eat for like 3 days.
Then, last Sunday (maybe Saturday or Monday?..it doesn't matter) it was really nice outside so I decided I was going to try to work the grill. I had Max frolicking around outside with me. I finished grilling and then couldn't figure out how to turn the damn thing off (Turns out..all you have to do is turn the dials counter clockwise to the words that say OFF..I was turning the burners clockwise to HIGH). So, I left the yard for a few minutes to grab my neighbor to help me. While I was gone, I heard a faint murmur of thunder in the distance and a few seconds later a frantic squeal. I got back to the house and my back door was wide open and Max was laying in our laundry room just crying.
Ever since then..he hasn't been eating and follows me around the house (This is strange for Max. He hates me). The biggest problem is..he barks constantly. He barks when he hears rain, he barks when the phone rings, he barks when I close the refrigerator door, when he hears me going up and down the stairs, he barks at the sound of me chewing crunchy cereal (completely true). I can't even sleep! Liiiiike, he woke me up at least 3 times every hour last night. And since he won't go outside..he keeps leaving me massive presents on the floor..except they are the worst kind of presents ever..are you picking up what I'm laying down???
I don't know any one else who has a dog with this similar problem. So I'm thinking I need a puppy psychologist..or a doggy whisperer..someone who can tell Max that thunder and farts will not hurt him.
Anyways, enough for now. I'm going shopping :)
You know they say a lot of times that pets tend to both look and act like their owners, so you may want to look at yourself before you look at your dog.
ReplyDeletemy friend has a dog like that who is big and old, it might be that they are old and a lot of things worry them because they have realized they are old. my friends dog wont go down the stairs because of brittle bones and it makes him get anxiety so he has to take pills for it, he does all the same things max does so your dog isnt crazy, he may also be lonely and probably likes u. by the way are u sure u didnt fart and blame it on him? ManSauce
ReplyDeleteId say call Cesar Chavez or whatever his name is from the discovery channel. By the way, I bet 5 bucks you'll forget about this blog once your spring break is over.
ReplyDeleteHA! Ok, you are hilarious. Go ahead and blog girl, I will read it! :)
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