For the fellas

I had a conversation with a friend today about a date she went on last weekend. The guy she went out with is a mutual friend of mine. They are both incredibly cool people and actually have a lot in common. However, after the first date, she can't stand him. She thinks he's an arrogant asshole. (Sorry if you're both reading this and know who I'm talking about....don't hate the blogger hate the blog). The two went out to a restaurant of her choice. He wanted her to pick out the restaurant, but then made fun of the service and quality of food the whole night..he was taking phone calls and texting on his phone instead of talking to her..and he was getting obviously tipsy (I see nothing wrong with that one..haha juuuust kidding..but seriously, I dont.).

I have to admit..she has a point..and he does sound like an ass BUT, I know this guy..he's legit..and this does not sound like him at all. I DO know that he doesn't go on dates very often and he was probably nervous. Guys do stupid things when they are nervous. This made me think that there are probably a lot of good guys out there who just get nervous..don't know what to say or do..so they react stupidly.

The chit chat with my friend inspired a blog (Yaaay!) This is pretty much a DONTS list..things guys should avoid doing or saying on first dates if they ever want to see the chick again. Most..probably all..of what I say is coming from personal experience (I've had my fair share of bad first dates).

Okay..here it goes..

• Don't talk about your ex on the first date (unless asked). If you feel her name coming up in conversation..call it a night..you're not ready to date.
• Do not ask the following questions: How old do you want to be when you get married? How many kids do you want to have? Do you think you could be a stay at home mom? Can you cook?..It's a first date...take it easy.
• Don't come on TOO STRONG. One time..I was playing pool on a first date and while setting up the game.. the guy grabbed my butt and simultaneously whispered in my ear, "Can you grab my balls?" JJJJJJeeerkk. I didn't slap him..or even act like I didn't like it..I just never returned his phone calls and he hasn't heard from me since.
  
• If you have E-harmony or any other online dating profile..and you're not on a date with a girl you met online..don't tell her you have a profile. There is nothing wrong with having one..but to someone who doesn't know you it's going to scream desperate.
• Don't tell a girl too many times that she looks pretty. I went on a date with a guy who I swear said, "You are so beautiful," every half hour...don't do that. Chances are if the girl really is beautiful..she knows it. You telling her over and over is going to make her think something is wrong with you AND you're setting yourself up to be "that guy" she calls when she feels bloated and needs a compliment. One.."You look beautiful,"..at the beginning of the date is enough.
• Don't admit to having any dorky obsessions on the first date (Big foot..chewbacca costumes in your trunk..star trek)..wait until she loves you.
• Do not discuss politics. Plain and simple.
  
• Don't try so hard..flowers and chocolates on a first date?..really not necessary.
• Don't talk about yourself too much. You're a hot shot lawyer and make tons of money? Sweet. Get over it.
• Don't call mom, dad, brothers, or sisters and make your first date talk to them.
  
• Don't cheers the wine to this, "The first of many dates."
• Don't fart at the dinner table..unless she does it first.
• If out to dinner, do not order for your date unless she asks you to.
• Do not go in for a kiss if you're not sure how the date is going. If you don't know, it's not going well.
• Don't ask to plan the second date when the first date isn't over.
• If the first date went well, don't screw it up by smothering the chick with phone calls. Trust me, if it went well, she will call you. It drives us nuts when we don't hear from you.

Okay..that's all I can think of for now. Again, this is just my opinion. Ladies..you may not agree with me and that's okay. Guys..don't listen to the ladies who don't agree..TRUST ME..don't do any of these things.

Hope this helps someone (If any one actually reads this!)